Sunday, 19 December 2010

A Culture in the shitter!

Have you noticed that the people who repeatedly claim 'Oh, I don't have time to cook!" DO nonetheless find the time to watch hours of arse-brained television? You can prepare a really tasty and nutritious meal of oven cooked chicken thighs / drumsticks in about 25 mins, but they'd rather watch an oily clutch of monosyllabic oaf-lords moan about the inconceivable notion of using tinned pineapples as an ingredient! The world is spiralling with alarming speed to a era of total imbecility. If not how do you explain Simon Cowell? I accept that we as humans don't have to make a contribution for the betterment of mankind, it's possible to exist as merely a consumer, but to regularly rape so many hearts minds with impunity surely must be called to account at some point? I'd like to put myself forward, I will gladly spread his odious chest giblets across the wall like a crimson Rorschach test, remember Saddam Hussein was put to death for crimes far less insidious than Cowell and yet, I can barely bring myself to say it; Cowell still lives!  Can I be the only one that finds his flaccid chest and cloying smugness to be a true vision of hell? All reality television is base and  mediocre, that is its modus operandi; so why would you need a so called "expert", and what is Cowell actually an expert of? (Certainly not trousers) Biscuit-jawed morons stand in front of him with absolutely no self-awareness and even less talent; where's the fucking entertainment here? (A rare performance by The Move', yes, get that on the telly and i'll watch it, yaroo!) It never strays beyond a repetitive aria of "you are shit!" "you started out shit,but you're less shit than before" That's it, that's the level of insight Cowell brings...He stands before a reeking pig sty of human ordure and discerns which excrement is less shitty than the other? Magnificent. (We have evolved from creating rudimentary cave etchings to jeering at barely ambulatory poo people!) It is actually insane, we are still unable to see adults make love / fuck, bring torrents of pleasure to each other's aroused, sensual naked bodies in adult cinema;  but Cowell is somehow encouraged to assail the world with hours of immoral profanity of the highest calibre. Ergo his shit is apparently better than the other manufactures of shit...But that is, in fact, shit reasoning. Why not simply REMOVE THE SHIT from the screen???????   Human manure belongs in the sea not in our livingrooms. (And for fuck's sake flush all that CSI-related kaka an'all!) What kind of mono-celled scud pump can watch that donkey doodle? You might as well stare at used dental floss spinning in the shitter. (Intoning with faux gravitas) "Previously on dental floss in the shitter...Dental floss in the shitter! The same dental floss in the shitter every week. (Sometimes you might actually see a shred of masticated banana on the floss rather than Tuna Salad...Oh! How Wizard)   

I think Lemmy put it best "Killed by Death!" (He was of course talking about Bono, Cowell and Noel Edmonds & Shit TV)

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